Sa Pangatlong Buwan

Mga pitong taon na ang nakalipas noong huli kong tinanong si Robert ng "Pare, what is love?". Sasagutin niya ito ng "Love is playing every game as if it's your last.". Ibang klase talaga si Jordan, masyadong nakaka-apekto ng pagkatao.

One of the things I have learned the past month is that maturity is measured by how responsible we are over our own decisions. Nobody told me to love Kaye and to give everything I can to make her feel loved and special. Though I am not perfect and that my love may not be even enough to equate her sacrifices, I promise to stay with her always and to support her on every decision she makes, as much as I can, given my humanity. Yes, she is younger than me by birth-age but never in heart- nor mind-age. I do not want her to feel being controlled nor manipulated by my subconscious enforcement of my delusional philosophies. I want her to create her own dreams and catch them on her own. For it is in that sense I shall feel that I have made my part -- to help her be the best she could.

I fear that I may not be best man for her. That she may meet someone much much better than me. But such thought does not bring me down. Rather, it is a constant slap in the face, a reminder that I should not be doing the mistakes I have done in the past. On another perspective, she, herself, brings the best in me without effort. Oh yes, it is those sweet touching smile and burning eyes inviting me to her soul that keeps me striving to be the best in everything I do and will do.

If she can be me in a minute, she will know how much happiness she brings in my life. Not just the temporary ecstasy she injects every time she hugs me but also the ever lasting stitched-smile she makes me do from the thought that she is mine.

We know it is not easy. It never were. With the innate imperfections we have, we can not promise not to make mistakes but with utmost effort we will do our best not to take it against the other but rather an effect of the shortcomings we ourselves have committed.

She may not be the best woman in the world but she is the best lover for me. Though we are not each others' first lover, we pray that we are each others' last.

And for all of this, I know for sure that love is indeed giving our all. It is a choice. So as happiness, and contentment.

Happy 3rd month mahal ko! To eternity with you.