On Papa's 44th

Only three hours have passed after my father's 44th birthday officially ended. I stop, look around, observe and try to formulate answers to the littlest questions that pop from my head this time. The efforts, the tears, the years that have passed. It is the time I ask myself, "What do I really want?".

It was in 2007 that my view in life changed big time. I was never this idealistic. I was never this dreamy about things way beyond my grasp. It is only now that I see the triviality of my existence, and everyone's as well. It is only now that I am growing.

You see, society has kept us blind from the beauty of introspection and the thoughts that dreams are made to be followed not just to be stared upon. We do not get what we want because of luck but because of all the sweat-drenched t-shirts we washed. It is only not that success is the fruit of our labors but also the other way around.

Life is a sequence of problems ordered in an approximately increasing difficulty. We encounter a question, we try to solve that question, we find answers, we move on then encounter another problem. If we look at it this way, then life is all about puppets climbing a mountain with a non-existent peak with a constant supply of boulders ramming on their, the puppet's, faces. The puppets know they're not free but have no grasp of what's on the other side of the string. All they know is that it moves in weird intervals leaving them fate to gravity's mercy in between.

We cannot serve two masters but masters can have two slaves. It's either I stick with pursuing my research career or stop and go lead the money-making train. Shall I try to be a great scientist or a superb manager? In the end, it all boils down to what we need. I need money to feed myself and to keep my family kicking and alive. But I also need to do what I want to do as it keeps me from falling from this self-made pedestal of ego and pride. Funny, I practically type-casted a want to a need.

Proves my point. Nothing is absolute. Reality itself is relative. Right now, I shall go expand my horizon. No time for senseless lolligagging.

Sa Banal na Hapunan

It's been quite a while, I guess. Looking back, things have changed drastically just over the past year. I may not be the best on what I do but I am happy being able to teach and influence the brightest minds in the country.

I know I am not perfect. I am not even teacher or professor material with all my "wala salugar na kalokohan", but this is who I am.

Hindi ako magiging kasing yaman ng mga ka-batch ko o kaibigan kong nagtratrabaho sa labas ng academe. Hindi ako magiging kasing sikat ng mga tao sa telebisyon. Hindi ako magkakaruon ng sobrang gandang asawang mabait, mapang-unawa at sobrang talino. Hindi ako ang pinakamatalinong tao at lalong hindi ako mas matalino sa mga tinuturuan ako. Nagkataon lang na nauna ako sa kanila. Pero hindi ang mga ito ang sukatan ko ng tagumpay o ng kaligayahan.

Salat man ako sa pera puno naman ako sa pagmamahal sa ginagawa ko. Wala man akong maipagmamalaking kagandahang lalaki pero may mga kaibigan akong patuloy na nagmamahal sa akin maputulan man ako ng ulo. Mamahalin ko kung sino man ang ibigay sa akin ng Dios na makakasama ko habang buhay maging sino o ano man siya. Sisikapin kong maabot ang mga pangarap ko kahit na mamamatay din naman tayong lahat sa huli.

Hindi ako nagtuturo para sumikat o para ipakita kong mas mataas ako sa iba kundi dito lang ako masaya. Gusto kong mag-research, maging doctor hindi dahil mas mataas na uri ako ng tao kung nagkataon kundi gusto kong may maibigay sa mundo, sa sarili kong paraan.

Para sa babaeng hindi ko pa nakikita o nakita ko na pero hindi ko lang pinapansin, maghintay ka lang dahil sa ngayon, masaya pa ako. Puwede ka namang ngumiti kung gusto mo at sabay tayong tatakbo.

A 1:00 am Thought

Wilmarc Lopez feels that nothing fades with time. Everything just turns into something better or worse that comes ramming to our faces every time we make decisions. And no matter how hard things are, we still manage to pick ourselves up and put our body parts together, because we already ate that crap before.

An Open Letter to "101.9 For Life"

Good day!

First let me apologize for the informality of this message. I don't usually listen to FM stations but it has come to my knowledge that yesterday, DJ China Heart allegedly criticized the government's decision over the so called INC holiday.

And with that, I respectfully and strongly suggest that before you broadcast something, especially strong statements, please make sure to consider both sides of the "equation".

The INC has been here for 95 years, culminating the Filipino nation in almost every aspect. Health, education, charity, some sort of unification and stability, and hope for many, unfortunately not DJ China Heart, among others amidst the blurring good future for our government and being a nation as a whole.

In fact, the INC is considered to be an international church that has its roots here in the Philippines. It implicitly imparts a huge part of being a Filipino to the whole world reaffirming that Pinoys are still God-fearing, deed-doing, nation-loving people amidst strong punches of bad connotations and stereotypes from other races.

Taking to account what you call "Freedom of the press/media", I say you have all the legal rights, but please remember that every concept of freedom we have has a responsibility glued to it.

More power!

Shooting Games and Random Crap

Dahil naglalaro ako ng Bioshock at Call of Duty 2 ngayon, wala lang.
Must watch ito!

Now, I Wonder

Why am I in the faculty of the country's premier institution for higher learning?

Am I really that good? I don't think so.

Maybe my definition of good is not what the world understands it.

By such reasoning I fail.

But I shall not falter.

Not yet.

Happiness

Today, I again find myself deluded with thoughts. And I like it. I've talked to certain people about my idea of happiness this past days. And I guess it's about time I immortalize it with technology.

Happiness is, well, just, a state of mind. When I think about it, everything is just a piece of that neuron synapse that comes running from point to point inside our brains. The thing is, love, hope, anger and other feelings manifest through concrete three-dimensional entities.

So almost everything is a matter of association or picking the implementation or physical representation. Control over this mechanism absolutely ensures emotional and spiritual contentment. Of course, concepts like hunger and thirst characterize through involuntary physical reactions, hence we have no absolute control.

If I say that the physical world has a one to one correspondence to the thoughts in our heads, we have heck a lot of stuff swimming on those cerebrums. On the other hand, if the dimensions do not fit perfectly in size, then we are certain that someone have given much power to that of the greater.

By the oh-so-popular concept of free will, I can say that humans are blessed with the power of choice. It is really amazing how God has given us the whole earth, no, the whole universe to play with. We have been given the chance to associate our thoughts to virtually almost anything we want. And what do we do? We let other people decide for us. We let culture spoil the very core of what have made us humans by being passive to ideas and flashy sounds of false happiness.

Do we really pay attention to the choices we have in life or we just go along the tides? Do we really exercise the gift that we can control our own concept of happiness, sadness, success or contentment? Why is it that some of us deliberately deliver themselves to acts that cause sadness to others?

We can never say we never had a choice but I guess we can always say we are not intelligent enough.