Sorry but I have to double quote this. Too good not to copy. Please take time to read this amazing article and let us all join hands in the fulfillment of a dreamed future. For the original article, please click here.
Ophel Belo is the valedictorian for 2007 at the recently concluded graduation ceremonies of the Filipino Workers' Resource Center - Skills Training Program (FWRC-STP) here in Kuala Lumpur.
Although she never became my student at FWRC-STP, I was fortunate enough to work with her during the center's numerous events. She's quiet but efficient, unassuming yet smart. Despite her brilliance, she is working as a domestic helper here in KL.
In her valedictory address, Ophel had a lot to say about the sad state our country is in.
K. Flores
VALEDICTORY ADDRESS
by: Ms. Ophelia A. Belo
Excellencies, Ambassadors Lecaros and Brillantes, Mrs. Lecaros, Labatt JBJ and Mrs. Jimenez, Faculty Advisers, Embassy Officials, Filcom Leaders, Malaysian Nationals, Princess Becky, Datu Lim Sun Hoe and Datu Sunny Lim, Honorees, Guests, fellow students and graduates, friends countrymen and visitors, good afternoon,
I thank God for this honor and I express gratitude to my country and government for this opportunity. I accept this distinction with both joy and sadness. There is joy in my heart right now because once again I have proven that there is a reward for hardwork, dedication, and excellence. But I am sad right at these moment, I am sad for our country and for our people. I am sad for you fellow graduates. And I am sad for myself.
I am sad that the Philippines, the homeland of brilliant, highly skilled and very articulate people, is now becoming the No. 1 supplier of cheap labor including domestic helper into the booming world of global markets. We can kid ourselves by saying there's nothing wrong in being a domestic helper. Oh come on! I am a domestic helper myself and I'm not ashamed to be so. But then, what?
I am looking at the big picture and I am looking at our country and I am disappointed that there is not much hope if we remain there. I am regretful that every single day, no less than 3,200 Filipinos are leaving the Philippines, many of them for good, in the hope of finding jobs that can send our children to school, buy medicines for our sick, repair our dilapidated shanties or pay for all our indebtedness.
What happened to the Philippines?
Our country is supposed to be the Pearl of the Orient Seas. In 1961, many Malaysians used to envy the Filipinos. They dreamt to study in UP, La Salle or Ateneo. Today, Malaysians are the employers of Filipino domestic helpers. They have sent an astronaut into space, while the Filipinos are still quarreling about government contracts and alleged rigging of elections.
We, the OFWs must begin the process of the renewal for our country. The FWRC is our center of excellence to be able to compete globally and turn around our country.
The global labor markets are unforgiving. The avalanche of rising demands for quality comes rushing every single moment and the standards of excellence keep on rising without pause. Only those who never stop learning will survive in this crazy and mind-boggling competition for skills.
Filipino engineers and technicians in IT who surf the cyberspaces for emerging opportunities find themselves competing with highly competent Indian computer wizards. Indians are also emerging as our OFW's top competitors in the global labor markets.
Our oil and gas engineers are still preferred by Malaysian employers because the local chemical and mechanical engineers prefer to work in UK and in the Middle East. This is the result of globalization of human capital.
Our domestic helpers from the Philippines are still the preferred ones by Malaysian royalty, high government officials and top businessmen. But the Filipino domestics represent only a miniscule 2% of the entire DH market in Malaysia, Indonesia commands more than 90% of the 500,000 household service providers in this country. But the Philippine government is aiming for QUALITY employment. We frown upon QUANTITY or high volume of 5 D's: the jobs that are DIRTY, DIFFICULT, DANGEROUS, DEMEANING and DECEPTIVE.
Even if the Filipina DHs are only few, they enjoy superior benefits. They enjoy Sunday day-offs every week or at least every another week with the two Sundays paid for when they are not allowed to go. They have much higher pay and better terms and conditions of employment. They are allowed to study in the FWRC Skills Training Program.
The Filipino household service workers, along with other OFWs do study in FWRC. They learn word processing, spreadsheet, internet, illustrator, photoshop, autocad and multiple computer applications. They study Commercial Baking, Advanced Cake Decorating, Western Food Cooking, Basic Nursing, Reflexology and Arts and Crafts. They even learn the Art of Communication, Composition and Correspondences, Business and Social Correspondences, Financial Management, Business Development and Entrepreneurship.
The Labor Attache and top Embassy Officials teach BLAWSFIL (Basic Labor Laws for Filipino, a subject created by Labat JBJ as a means for empowerment, to arm the OFWs with fundamental knowledge of the labor and family laws, immigration and even contract laws and criminal statutes. The migrant workers from the Philippines are aware of their rights as well as obligations to employers and host government. They have less chances of being arrested and detained and they are more confident when confronted with legal issues.
OFWs from Malaysia who are now venturing to UK like Lyn dela Rama and Gene Sarmiento, both outstanding FWRC alumnae, have better chances of survival and even excellence in more challenging work environments. Former FWRC resource persons like Dang Penarubia who migrated to Canada have better probability of success than others who went withoug FWRC KASH (Knowledge, Attitude, Skills and Habits)
Today, the 21st of October, here in the Grand Ballroom of Crown Princess Hotel in Kuala Lumpur, few shall graduate those among the 490 who enrolled in January, survived the grueling holistic training in FWRC. Today, the word GRADUATION should be understood as a process, not an end, a process of enhancing elevating, improving and developing the KASH positions of the OFW who made the correct decision to study in FWRC.
Today, also is a COMMENCEMENT, a starting point, a beginning, a point of embarkation to a higher level of consciousness, to a better perspective in life, a much improved point of view and a stronger, higher quality of qualification, a better state of readiness, an empowered new beginning of the rest of our lifetime journey.
The quest for excellence, the drive to win the global labor markets, the hunger for bigger challenges, the thirst for learning -- an insatiable yearning to learn more -- these are the hallmarks of men and women who are geared and programmed for success in life.
The next motto of FWRC is "ON TO THE MARCH FOR EXCELLENCE," both in skills and in Character. Both committed and competent. Thus, today is indeed a day for celebration. But after the celebration, we need to do something for our country.
And so today, ladies and gentlemen, what are we going to do to create a meaningful difference in the future of our country? Evil triumphs because good men do nothing. Let us all do something, no matter how small.
FIRST, let us not remit everything that we earn here. Let us save at least 50% through the Samahang Impok Bayan and keep it until we go home for good.
SECOND, let us all take courses in the FWRC that will help us in our reintegration like Business Management, Entrepreneurship Accounting, Basic Laws and other relevant courses. Indeed it is only bring EXCELLENCE THAT WE CAN TO THE GLOBAL WORLD.
THIRD, let us all write to our congressmen, let us write to our newspaper, let us e-mail jour opinions and let us be active in denouncing the abuses of our political leaders.
FOURTH, let us rally behind honest and hardworking officials and staff in government but let us denounce and expose and charge all those who violate their oaths as public servants.
FIFTH, let us help in the FWRC. Whatever honor we receive today should provide us an inspiration to share our knowledge to other OFWs.
SIXTH, let us discipline our families at home. They should learn to value our remittances and not squander them in luxuries. Let us let them learn that we worked hard for the money and we should not tolerate extravagances.
SEVENTH, let us all be aware of all the economic, social and political developments in our country. Let us monitor what are the trends and programs of our country's future. And let us share our thoughts with those who spend our remittances.
AND lastly number EIGHT, let us all be aware that all that were, all that are and all that will be in the Philippines are driven by economic realities, high population growth, labor excess economy, cheap labor, globalization without safety nets, insufficient social services. All these are exacerbating the pains and sufferings of our people.
These are the reasons why the joy of my success today is eclipsed by the sadness in our situation as a nation and as a people.
We've got to feel the pain so that we will do something about it. We can not continue deluding ourselves. We have to face realities and bite the bullet.
According to a great social scientist: THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THE DISCONTENTED. The Filipinos should start to be discontented with our situation and tell our leaders of our discontentment.
According to a Chinese Philosopher: IT IS CRAZY TO EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS IF WE CONTINUE TO REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES. The Filipinos should accept that there are for too many mistakes and we have to correct them.
And according to Dr. Jose Rizal in his NOLI ME TANGERE, recorded in the history of human sufferings is a cancer of so malignant a character that the least touch irritates it.
Since the time of Rizal until now more than a century after, the cancer is still here -- a SOCIAL CANCER, AN ECONOMIC MALADY.
The only difference is that we can do something about it. Yes we can. And we should. No matter how strait the gate and how charged with punishment the scroll, we are the masters of our fate. We are the captain of our souls, to borrow from Invictus.
Kaya mga kababayan, dapat umpisahan na ang pagbabago, umpisahan sa ating sarili. Kung hindi ngayon, kaylan pa? Kung hindi tayo and mag umpisa, sino pa? Bahala tayo sa ating kinabukasan at bahala tayo sa kinabukasan ng ating bansa Pakaisipin ninyo ito. Huwag kayong masyadong magsaya. Dapat magkaroon din kayo ng lungkot, upang magsikap kayong magbago. Dahil ang mga problema ay hindi nakakatuwa.
Marami pong salamat.
-- GMANews.TV
(Original post by K. Flores: http://www.gmanews.tv/story/68721/What-happened-to-the-Philippines)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
A 1:00 am Thought
Wilmarc Lopez feels that nothing fades with time. Everything just turns into something better or worse that comes ramming to our faces every time we make decisions. And no matter how hard things are, we still manage to pick ourselves up and put our body parts together, because we already ate that crap before.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
An Open Letter to "101.9 For Life"
Good day!
First let me apologize for the informality of this message. I don't usually listen to FM stations but it has come to my knowledge that yesterday, DJ China Heart allegedly criticized the government's decision over the so called INC holiday.
And with that, I respectfully and strongly suggest that before you broadcast something, especially strong statements, please make sure to consider both sides of the "equation".
The INC has been here for 95 years, culminating the Filipino nation in almost every aspect. Health, education, charity, some sort of unification and stability, and hope for many, unfortunately not DJ China Heart, among others amidst the blurring good future for our government and being a nation as a whole.
In fact, the INC is considered to be an international church that has its roots here in the Philippines. It implicitly imparts a huge part of being a Filipino to the whole world reaffirming that Pinoys are still God-fearing, deed-doing, nation-loving people amidst strong punches of bad connotations and stereotypes from other races.
Taking to account what you call "Freedom of the press/media", I say you have all the legal rights, but please remember that every concept of freedom we have has a responsibility glued to it.
More power!
First let me apologize for the informality of this message. I don't usually listen to FM stations but it has come to my knowledge that yesterday, DJ China Heart allegedly criticized the government's decision over the so called INC holiday.
And with that, I respectfully and strongly suggest that before you broadcast something, especially strong statements, please make sure to consider both sides of the "equation".
The INC has been here for 95 years, culminating the Filipino nation in almost every aspect. Health, education, charity, some sort of unification and stability, and hope for many, unfortunately not DJ China Heart, among others amidst the blurring good future for our government and being a nation as a whole.
In fact, the INC is considered to be an international church that has its roots here in the Philippines. It implicitly imparts a huge part of being a Filipino to the whole world reaffirming that Pinoys are still God-fearing, deed-doing, nation-loving people amidst strong punches of bad connotations and stereotypes from other races.
Taking to account what you call "Freedom of the press/media", I say you have all the legal rights, but please remember that every concept of freedom we have has a responsibility glued to it.
More power!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Shooting Games and Random Crap
Dahil naglalaro ako ng Bioshock at Call of Duty 2 ngayon, wala lang.
Must watch ito!
Must watch ito!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Now, I Wonder
Why am I in the faculty of the country's premier institution for higher learning?
Am I really that good? I don't think so.
Maybe my definition of good is not what the world understands it.
By such reasoning I fail.
But I shall not falter.
Not yet.
Am I really that good? I don't think so.
Maybe my definition of good is not what the world understands it.
By such reasoning I fail.
But I shall not falter.
Not yet.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Happiness
Today, I again find myself deluded with thoughts. And I like it. I've talked to certain people about my idea of happiness this past days. And I guess it's about time I immortalize it with technology.
Happiness is, well, just, a state of mind. When I think about it, everything is just a piece of that neuron synapse that comes running from point to point inside our brains. The thing is, love, hope, anger and other feelings manifest through concrete three-dimensional entities.
So almost everything is a matter of association or picking the implementation or physical representation. Control over this mechanism absolutely ensures emotional and spiritual contentment. Of course, concepts like hunger and thirst characterize through involuntary physical reactions, hence we have no absolute control.
If I say that the physical world has a one to one correspondence to the thoughts in our heads, we have heck a lot of stuff swimming on those cerebrums. On the other hand, if the dimensions do not fit perfectly in size, then we are certain that someone have given much power to that of the greater.
By the oh-so-popular concept of free will, I can say that humans are blessed with the power of choice. It is really amazing how God has given us the whole earth, no, the whole universe to play with. We have been given the chance to associate our thoughts to virtually almost anything we want. And what do we do? We let other people decide for us. We let culture spoil the very core of what have made us humans by being passive to ideas and flashy sounds of false happiness.
Do we really pay attention to the choices we have in life or we just go along the tides? Do we really exercise the gift that we can control our own concept of happiness, sadness, success or contentment? Why is it that some of us deliberately deliver themselves to acts that cause sadness to others?
We can never say we never had a choice but I guess we can always say we are not intelligent enough.
Happiness is, well, just, a state of mind. When I think about it, everything is just a piece of that neuron synapse that comes running from point to point inside our brains. The thing is, love, hope, anger and other feelings manifest through concrete three-dimensional entities.
So almost everything is a matter of association or picking the implementation or physical representation. Control over this mechanism absolutely ensures emotional and spiritual contentment. Of course, concepts like hunger and thirst characterize through involuntary physical reactions, hence we have no absolute control.
If I say that the physical world has a one to one correspondence to the thoughts in our heads, we have heck a lot of stuff swimming on those cerebrums. On the other hand, if the dimensions do not fit perfectly in size, then we are certain that someone have given much power to that of the greater.
By the oh-so-popular concept of free will, I can say that humans are blessed with the power of choice. It is really amazing how God has given us the whole earth, no, the whole universe to play with. We have been given the chance to associate our thoughts to virtually almost anything we want. And what do we do? We let other people decide for us. We let culture spoil the very core of what have made us humans by being passive to ideas and flashy sounds of false happiness.
Do we really pay attention to the choices we have in life or we just go along the tides? Do we really exercise the gift that we can control our own concept of happiness, sadness, success or contentment? Why is it that some of us deliberately deliver themselves to acts that cause sadness to others?
We can never say we never had a choice but I guess we can always say we are not intelligent enough.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Sa Mata ng Iba
Masaya ako dahil nakakasama ko araw-araw ang mga pinakamagagaling na tao sa Pinas sa field ko. Pero dahil nga ganoon, napaka-normal lang naman pala nila.
Madalas akong makatanggap ng pagkilala na mas mababa sa inaasahang pakikitungo sa mga taong nasa posisyon ko ngayon. Malaking hadlang talaga ang pagiging itsurang mas bata sa tunay kong edad, naks! Sa totoo lang hindi ko naman binibigyan ng masyadong isip ang status ko, dahil sabi nga ni Sir Phil sa akin, "Bakit, sino ka ba?".
Sino nga ba ako? Sampid lang naman akong sinwerteng makapasok sa faculty eh. Sinwerte lang din na maganda ang undergrad thesis ko? (Joke) Sinwerte lang din ako at nakapag-aral ako sa South Korea. Sinwerte lang din ako na magaganda ang marka ko sa mga subjects ko sa undergrad. May magic talaga, may himala. Amen.
Madalas akong makatanggap ng pagkilala na mas mababa sa inaasahang pakikitungo sa mga taong nasa posisyon ko ngayon. Malaking hadlang talaga ang pagiging itsurang mas bata sa tunay kong edad, naks! Sa totoo lang hindi ko naman binibigyan ng masyadong isip ang status ko, dahil sabi nga ni Sir Phil sa akin, "Bakit, sino ka ba?".
Sino nga ba ako? Sampid lang naman akong sinwerteng makapasok sa faculty eh. Sinwerte lang din na maganda ang undergrad thesis ko? (Joke) Sinwerte lang din ako at nakapag-aral ako sa South Korea. Sinwerte lang din ako na magaganda ang marka ko sa mga subjects ko sa undergrad. May magic talaga, may himala. Amen.
Mediocrity
It's been two weeks since the classes have started. Nasa dalawang magkabaliktad na mundo ako ng sabay. Nakikisabay sa pag-ikot ng bolang hindi ko kilala. Ng larong hindi ko pa alam laruin.
Bago ako pumasok ng Diliman para magturo, noong malayo pa sa pakiramdam ko ang posibilidad na matanggap ako, napakarami kong pangarap. Mga pangarap na halos hindi ko na maalala ngayon. Ngayon alam ko na na ang mga pangarap ay gawa lang ng kalungkutan. Hatid lang ng hindi pagiging kuntento sa kung ano ang mayroon. Na-gets ko na kung bakit hindi tayo umuunlad na mga Pinoy in general, masyado tayong kuntento.
Naalala ko noon sa Baguio nang mga panahong mag-isa ako sa kwarto, mag-isa sa paglalakad sa Session Road, mag-isang manuod ng sine at mag-isang lumuluha. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na lahat ng kalungkutang nararamdaman ko ay mapapalitan din ng kasiyahan, pasasaan nga ba naman at mag-uumaga rin. Nasanay akong huwag umasa sa iba. Natuto akong kumapit sa Dios ng buong-buo dahil alam ko na sa Kaniya nanggagaling ang lahat.
May mga panahong nagpapanata ako sa kapilya ng gabi. Alas diyes ata iyon kasabay nila Fernyl. Tatanggalin ko ang sapatos ko at magpapatirapa sa tribuna dahil sabi ni Mama ay lubos daw ang espiritu doon. Hindi siya nagkamali. Bawat patak ng luha ko hiniling ko sa Dios ang trabahong ito at ang magandang buhay para sa aming buong pamilya. Bawat hikbi ninais kong nawa'y hindi ako magkamali sa mga desisyon ko sa buhay. Bawat hampas ng palad sa dibdib hinandog ko ang buong sarili ko sa Dios, "Sa Iyo po ako", ang sabi ko. Hari nawa.
Malaki talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-iisa. Kaya matatalino ang mga ermitanyo dahil may pagkakataon silang tumingin sa mundo mula sa labas. Parang iyong sense ng Incompleteness Theorem. Unless you get out of the system, you will never ever understand everything. As if nothing makes sense. Kaya takot akong makisama sa ibang tao at malibang sa kasiyahang dala ng mundo. Iyon bang ngiti na naidudulot ng mga simpleng bagay na nagpapababa ng standards natin ng kasiyahan? Mangmang mang maituring, masaya pa rin.
At oo, mangmang ako. Naghahanap na ako ng pagkalinga ng ibang tao. Nagnanais na akong magkaroon ng taong mamahalin at magmamahal din sa akin unconditionally. Pero hindi ganoon kadali ang buhay at siempre lalo naman ang pag-ibig. Mahirap makita lalo na kung hindi naman naghahanap. Kung makakita man, hindi ka naman niya hinahanap. At kung hinahanap ka man niya, hindi naman kayo pareho ng paraan. Kaya nga sabi ko, "A waste of precious time".
Mayabang kasi ako kaya ang tingin kos a bawat panahon ko ay precious o mahalaga. Bawat tambay ko alam ko na somewhere sa mundo may nagagawang bago. May namamatay na mga tao sa gutom. May pinapanganap na mayaman. May nililibing pero hindi namamatay. At may buhay na tila naman patay. Tama, ang buhay natin ay isang malaking flowchart na puro diamond, puro descisions. Ang hindi nga lang masaya, higit pa sa dalawa ang puwede nating piliin. Mamimili lang ako kung gusto kong mabuhay at mamatay ng kagaya ng isang normal na Pilipinong nag-aral, nagtrabaho, nag-asawa, nagka-anak, tumatanda at namatay. O pwede akong maging isang taong importante. Kung ano man ang ibig sabihin noon, sa tingin ko ay sa edukasyon.
People's affirmations do not mean anything to me. I have my own standards. Unfortunately, this past months, it is lower than ever. And I pray that it will not go on like this... forever.
Bago ako pumasok ng Diliman para magturo, noong malayo pa sa pakiramdam ko ang posibilidad na matanggap ako, napakarami kong pangarap. Mga pangarap na halos hindi ko na maalala ngayon. Ngayon alam ko na na ang mga pangarap ay gawa lang ng kalungkutan. Hatid lang ng hindi pagiging kuntento sa kung ano ang mayroon. Na-gets ko na kung bakit hindi tayo umuunlad na mga Pinoy in general, masyado tayong kuntento.
Naalala ko noon sa Baguio nang mga panahong mag-isa ako sa kwarto, mag-isa sa paglalakad sa Session Road, mag-isang manuod ng sine at mag-isang lumuluha. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na lahat ng kalungkutang nararamdaman ko ay mapapalitan din ng kasiyahan, pasasaan nga ba naman at mag-uumaga rin. Nasanay akong huwag umasa sa iba. Natuto akong kumapit sa Dios ng buong-buo dahil alam ko na sa Kaniya nanggagaling ang lahat.
May mga panahong nagpapanata ako sa kapilya ng gabi. Alas diyes ata iyon kasabay nila Fernyl. Tatanggalin ko ang sapatos ko at magpapatirapa sa tribuna dahil sabi ni Mama ay lubos daw ang espiritu doon. Hindi siya nagkamali. Bawat patak ng luha ko hiniling ko sa Dios ang trabahong ito at ang magandang buhay para sa aming buong pamilya. Bawat hikbi ninais kong nawa'y hindi ako magkamali sa mga desisyon ko sa buhay. Bawat hampas ng palad sa dibdib hinandog ko ang buong sarili ko sa Dios, "Sa Iyo po ako", ang sabi ko. Hari nawa.
Malaki talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-iisa. Kaya matatalino ang mga ermitanyo dahil may pagkakataon silang tumingin sa mundo mula sa labas. Parang iyong sense ng Incompleteness Theorem. Unless you get out of the system, you will never ever understand everything. As if nothing makes sense. Kaya takot akong makisama sa ibang tao at malibang sa kasiyahang dala ng mundo. Iyon bang ngiti na naidudulot ng mga simpleng bagay na nagpapababa ng standards natin ng kasiyahan? Mangmang mang maituring, masaya pa rin.
At oo, mangmang ako. Naghahanap na ako ng pagkalinga ng ibang tao. Nagnanais na akong magkaroon ng taong mamahalin at magmamahal din sa akin unconditionally. Pero hindi ganoon kadali ang buhay at siempre lalo naman ang pag-ibig. Mahirap makita lalo na kung hindi naman naghahanap. Kung makakita man, hindi ka naman niya hinahanap. At kung hinahanap ka man niya, hindi naman kayo pareho ng paraan. Kaya nga sabi ko, "A waste of precious time".
Mayabang kasi ako kaya ang tingin kos a bawat panahon ko ay precious o mahalaga. Bawat tambay ko alam ko na somewhere sa mundo may nagagawang bago. May namamatay na mga tao sa gutom. May pinapanganap na mayaman. May nililibing pero hindi namamatay. At may buhay na tila naman patay. Tama, ang buhay natin ay isang malaking flowchart na puro diamond, puro descisions. Ang hindi nga lang masaya, higit pa sa dalawa ang puwede nating piliin. Mamimili lang ako kung gusto kong mabuhay at mamatay ng kagaya ng isang normal na Pilipinong nag-aral, nagtrabaho, nag-asawa, nagka-anak, tumatanda at namatay. O pwede akong maging isang taong importante. Kung ano man ang ibig sabihin noon, sa tingin ko ay sa edukasyon.
People's affirmations do not mean anything to me. I have my own standards. Unfortunately, this past months, it is lower than ever. And I pray that it will not go on like this... forever.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Sigaw ng Saklolo
Hindi lahat ng tao nakakakain ng masarap. Hindi lahat ng Pilipino may sariling computer o may maayos na edukasyon. Sa katotohan, hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng "maayos". Sa kahabaan ng Katipunan na halos araw-araw kong dinaraanan, pinapatay ako ng class struggles.
Nawawalan na ako. Dios ko po ibalik niyo ako sa Baguio.
Sa Mundong Nagiba
Napakatagal ng panahon ng huli akong magsulat. Magisip ng makata. Tumigil at magmasid. Many things have changed many people have come and go. I guess nobody stays.
I think reality's finally eating me whole. I've lost my touch. I forgot to cry.
Mabuti pa ang isa sa aquarium na malapit sa akin at naghihintay lang ng pagkain. Natakot ako dati na paglabas ko sa tunay na mundo kakainin rin ako ng mga nakakatakot na bagay na kinamumuhian ko. Nauubos na rin ang naipon kong intellectual na lakas sa Korea. Nawawala na ang matinding alab ng nasyonalismo sa puso ko. Nakalimutan ko ng mag-isip.
Nagbago na ang mundo ko. Nagbago na naman ang mga tao sa palikid ko. Kailan kaya ako titigil maglakbay? Bakit ako nagiging pasibo?
I think reality's finally eating me whole. I've lost my touch. I forgot to cry.
Mabuti pa ang isa sa aquarium na malapit sa akin at naghihintay lang ng pagkain. Natakot ako dati na paglabas ko sa tunay na mundo kakainin rin ako ng mga nakakatakot na bagay na kinamumuhian ko. Nauubos na rin ang naipon kong intellectual na lakas sa Korea. Nawawala na ang matinding alab ng nasyonalismo sa puso ko. Nakalimutan ko ng mag-isip.
Nagbago na ang mundo ko. Nagbago na naman ang mga tao sa palikid ko. Kailan kaya ako titigil maglakbay? Bakit ako nagiging pasibo?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Backward Ingenuity
Gusto ko sanang mag-ingles dahil matagal na akong hindi nagsusulat ng malupit na essay na gamit ito. Pero mas maganda sigurong mag-Filipino muna. Matagal ko ng iniisip ito. Simula pa ng marinig ko ang terminong "Japanese Ingenuity" ng minsang nanunuod ng video sa Youtube tungkol sa kasalukuyang kalagayan ng Hapon ukol sa global financial recession. Iniisip ko kung bakit maski kine-claim natin, at sa tingin ko ay totoo naman, na ingenous tayo ay hindi naman tayo umaangat.
Ngayon sa tingin ko alam ko na ang sagot. Backward ingenous tayo (yes, sarili kong term!). Nagsisimula yan sa pagkabata. Gusto ko rin palang sabihin na ang reference object ko ay ako para malinaw. Tinuturuan tayong gamitin ulit ang mga pahina ng mga notebook na hindi natin nasulatan at ipunin para gumawa ng bagong notebook. O kaya naman huwag magtapon ng project ng mas matanda kasi pwedeng mai-pasa ng mga mas batang kapatid pagdating ng panahon. Bottom line, hinagupit tayo ng pagtitipid. At sa kultura natin, ang pagtitipid ay katalinuhan. Ingenuity.
Paglumaki ka, matutuo kang sumakay ng jeep, tricycle o padyak papasok sa paaralan. Hindi ba nakakatuwa na ang means of transpo natin ay hindi pa rin nagbabago mula ng panahon ng mga lolo at lola natin? Isang patunay ay may nasasabi silang, "Noong panahon namin ang pamasahe sa jeep ay piso". Kung manunuod ka ng mga old school na pelikula ni Rene Requestas na blurry pa ang dating, pansinin mong jeep pa rin ang gamit. At ang masaya pa diyan, kilala tayo sa Jeepney. Bakit? Kasi tayo [na] lang gumagamit ng ganitong sistema at nabibilib naman ang mga puti o kaya naman ay natutuwa sila dahil napananatili natin ang pagiging mga unggoy natin. Kahit na, tatak pa rin ito ng kagalingan nating mapanatili ang tradisyon natin at kagalingan sa pagmanipula ng orihinal na jeep mula sa kung sino man, Kano ata, para maging PUJ. Ingenuity. Slavery reassured.
Kapag nagtratrabaho ka na, kakainin ka ngayon ng mga conventions na hindi mabaluktot. Hindi mo ito mapapansin kasi nasa sistema na natin ang sumunod sa agos, ang hindi paghadlang sa norm. Tradisyon, kultura, relihiyon, elementarya, media, high school ay ilan lang sa mga matitibay na tagapagtaguyod ng close-mindedness. Kritikal ako hindi ako inutil at lalong hindi ako anti-religion. Kung anong uso doon tayo. Sanay tayo ma-spoon-feed sa paaralan. Ang mga nagnanais umalis sa sistema, kung hindi inaalis ng sapilitan, ay unti-unting kakainin ng lipunan. Nawawala ang creativity at nationalism dahil sa pagcoconcentrate sa English, Math at Science sa mga mababa at mataaas na paaralan. Ang mga palabas sa primetime ay mga istoryang kayang hulaan ng 3-year old bata ang susunod na mangyayari. Nagiging paboritong gawing tema ang sex at violence. Nawawala sa sinaryo ang mga makabuluhang dokumentaryo. Bakit natin pinipilit gayahin ang iba samantalang sila iyon? Wala na ba kayang ibang daan patungo sa hinaharap kundi ang siguradong lagusan papuntang bangin? Katalinuhan papunta sa wala. San ka nagkamali Pilipinas?
Baksakan ang mga lumang electronic devices, mga kotse atbp, galing Japan at South Korea. Ipinagmamaki nating magagaling ang mga mekaniko o elektroniko natin dahil kaya nilang ayusin ang mga hindi kayang ayusin ng mga kapit-bahay natin. Ilang bagay ang makukuha natin dito. Una, ang kagalingang ito ay gawa ng kahirapan at kawalan ng ibang option na mas makakatipid. Pangalawa, hindi kaya hind na nila talaga gingawa kasi mga ay may nagawa na silang mas bago? Ito naman kasi iyon eh. Kung bakit naman ang gagaling nating mag-hukay sa basurahan at gawing kapaki-pakinabang ang basura sa iba samantalang puwede naman nating gamitin ang katalinuhan at lakas na iyon para makipagcompete. Para makipag-unahan, halimbawa sa teknolohiya? Pabaliktad. Pinapakain lang tayo ng mga tae ng ibang lahi. Scientific stuff, soksay stuff, techie stuff lahat tayo ang taga-kain ng mga napanis at napagsawaan nang tuklas. Ingenuity. Scavenging.
Kapag tanda mo, ipapasa mo nga yon sa mga anak at apo mo ang mediocrity. Ang tradisyon ng "kababaang luob" at pagpapasaok na "utang" natin sa mga Espanyol, Amerikano, Hapon pati Koreano. Ang hospitability natin, para sa akin, ay gawa ng kawalan ng respecto sa sarili. Nasanay tayong kumapit at magmakaawa sa mga master natin, dahil mga alipin lang tayo. Mga Indiyo. Kung papakitaan natin sila ng maganda, baka sakaling bigyan nila tayo ng kaunting pagpapala. Kaya magaling tayong dumiyos dahil gusto natin ng superhero. Kasi mga bata tayong hindi alam ang gagawin at walang kaya kung walang nag-aalaga. Pabaliktad ang approach natin sa future. Limot na natin ang nakaraan. Akala natin na ang mga pagtatagumpay ng Pinas ay dahil sa mga mananakop kaya sinusubukan parin nating magpa-alipin. Wrong!
Lahat ng mga bagay na ito ay magkakarugtong at hindi nagiging totoo kung wala ang isa. Pinoy matalino ka. Subukan lang nating magbukas pa ng isip. Kasama ng mga pagbabagong maari nating makamit dagdag ang ugali nating matiisin, masiyahin at maka-Dios, sa tingin niyo ay may pipigil pa sa lakas ng dating ni Juan dela Cruz? Sa tingin ko wala na. Sana kayo din. Kung pabaliktad man ang takbo natin ngayon, pasasaan din ba at tatarik din ang daan. Habang nahihirapan ang iba, doon naman tayo aariba dahil mas madaling umakyat ng bundok ng nakatalikod.
Ngayon sa tingin ko alam ko na ang sagot. Backward ingenous tayo (yes, sarili kong term!). Nagsisimula yan sa pagkabata. Gusto ko rin palang sabihin na ang reference object ko ay ako para malinaw. Tinuturuan tayong gamitin ulit ang mga pahina ng mga notebook na hindi natin nasulatan at ipunin para gumawa ng bagong notebook. O kaya naman huwag magtapon ng project ng mas matanda kasi pwedeng mai-pasa ng mga mas batang kapatid pagdating ng panahon. Bottom line, hinagupit tayo ng pagtitipid. At sa kultura natin, ang pagtitipid ay katalinuhan. Ingenuity.
Paglumaki ka, matutuo kang sumakay ng jeep, tricycle o padyak papasok sa paaralan. Hindi ba nakakatuwa na ang means of transpo natin ay hindi pa rin nagbabago mula ng panahon ng mga lolo at lola natin? Isang patunay ay may nasasabi silang, "Noong panahon namin ang pamasahe sa jeep ay piso". Kung manunuod ka ng mga old school na pelikula ni Rene Requestas na blurry pa ang dating, pansinin mong jeep pa rin ang gamit. At ang masaya pa diyan, kilala tayo sa Jeepney. Bakit? Kasi tayo [na] lang gumagamit ng ganitong sistema at nabibilib naman ang mga puti o kaya naman ay natutuwa sila dahil napananatili natin ang pagiging mga unggoy natin. Kahit na, tatak pa rin ito ng kagalingan nating mapanatili ang tradisyon natin at kagalingan sa pagmanipula ng orihinal na jeep mula sa kung sino man, Kano ata, para maging PUJ. Ingenuity. Slavery reassured.
Kapag nagtratrabaho ka na, kakainin ka ngayon ng mga conventions na hindi mabaluktot. Hindi mo ito mapapansin kasi nasa sistema na natin ang sumunod sa agos, ang hindi paghadlang sa norm. Tradisyon, kultura, relihiyon, elementarya, media, high school ay ilan lang sa mga matitibay na tagapagtaguyod ng close-mindedness. Kritikal ako hindi ako inutil at lalong hindi ako anti-religion. Kung anong uso doon tayo. Sanay tayo ma-spoon-feed sa paaralan. Ang mga nagnanais umalis sa sistema, kung hindi inaalis ng sapilitan, ay unti-unting kakainin ng lipunan. Nawawala ang creativity at nationalism dahil sa pagcoconcentrate sa English, Math at Science sa mga mababa at mataaas na paaralan. Ang mga palabas sa primetime ay mga istoryang kayang hulaan ng 3-year old bata ang susunod na mangyayari. Nagiging paboritong gawing tema ang sex at violence. Nawawala sa sinaryo ang mga makabuluhang dokumentaryo. Bakit natin pinipilit gayahin ang iba samantalang sila iyon? Wala na ba kayang ibang daan patungo sa hinaharap kundi ang siguradong lagusan papuntang bangin? Katalinuhan papunta sa wala. San ka nagkamali Pilipinas?
Baksakan ang mga lumang electronic devices, mga kotse atbp, galing Japan at South Korea. Ipinagmamaki nating magagaling ang mga mekaniko o elektroniko natin dahil kaya nilang ayusin ang mga hindi kayang ayusin ng mga kapit-bahay natin. Ilang bagay ang makukuha natin dito. Una, ang kagalingang ito ay gawa ng kahirapan at kawalan ng ibang option na mas makakatipid. Pangalawa, hindi kaya hind na nila talaga gingawa kasi mga ay may nagawa na silang mas bago? Ito naman kasi iyon eh. Kung bakit naman ang gagaling nating mag-hukay sa basurahan at gawing kapaki-pakinabang ang basura sa iba samantalang puwede naman nating gamitin ang katalinuhan at lakas na iyon para makipagcompete. Para makipag-unahan, halimbawa sa teknolohiya? Pabaliktad. Pinapakain lang tayo ng mga tae ng ibang lahi. Scientific stuff, soksay stuff, techie stuff lahat tayo ang taga-kain ng mga napanis at napagsawaan nang tuklas. Ingenuity. Scavenging.
Kapag tanda mo, ipapasa mo nga yon sa mga anak at apo mo ang mediocrity. Ang tradisyon ng "kababaang luob" at pagpapasaok na "utang" natin sa mga Espanyol, Amerikano, Hapon pati Koreano. Ang hospitability natin, para sa akin, ay gawa ng kawalan ng respecto sa sarili. Nasanay tayong kumapit at magmakaawa sa mga master natin, dahil mga alipin lang tayo. Mga Indiyo. Kung papakitaan natin sila ng maganda, baka sakaling bigyan nila tayo ng kaunting pagpapala. Kaya magaling tayong dumiyos dahil gusto natin ng superhero. Kasi mga bata tayong hindi alam ang gagawin at walang kaya kung walang nag-aalaga. Pabaliktad ang approach natin sa future. Limot na natin ang nakaraan. Akala natin na ang mga pagtatagumpay ng Pinas ay dahil sa mga mananakop kaya sinusubukan parin nating magpa-alipin. Wrong!
Lahat ng mga bagay na ito ay magkakarugtong at hindi nagiging totoo kung wala ang isa. Pinoy matalino ka. Subukan lang nating magbukas pa ng isip. Kasama ng mga pagbabagong maari nating makamit dagdag ang ugali nating matiisin, masiyahin at maka-Dios, sa tingin niyo ay may pipigil pa sa lakas ng dating ni Juan dela Cruz? Sa tingin ko wala na. Sana kayo din. Kung pabaliktad man ang takbo natin ngayon, pasasaan din ba at tatarik din ang daan. Habang nahihirapan ang iba, doon naman tayo aariba dahil mas madaling umakyat ng bundok ng nakatalikod.
Pagbubuhos
Limang taon na ang nakalipas ng huli akong nagsuot ng puting polo na may bag. Limang taon na rin ang nakalilipas ng bumiyahe ako ng kasama si Jamie (Robert) sa tricycle sa gilid ng McDo papuntang Roosevelt. Pero ilang oras lang ang nakalipas ng huli kong pinilit ang sarili kong gawin ang mga bagay na ayaw ko naman. Ganoon ata talaga ang buhay, pilitan. Mas maganda sigurong gawin nating noun ung "pilitan" para classic iyong dating at may pagka-epic.
Sa totoo lang hindi naman ako seryoso sa mga pag-aaral ko. Kung anong mangyari ay mangyari na lang. Mataas lang ata ang standards ko kaya ang ok na sa akin ay above average na pala kahit papaano. Kaya nga nabubuhay ako sa pag-seset ng goal na lubos at higit sa mga dapat ko lang abutin. Malamang nga ay labas na ako sa mediocrity kung purong acads o buhay lang ang pagbabatayan. Pero nga, wala namang perpekto.
Nitong mga nakaraang araw, panay ang galit at init ng ulo ni mama. Sa totoo lang, namimiss ko na ang pagiging malambing niya noong mga nakaraang taon lalo na pagdating ko ng Korea. Pero siguro nga ay bumabalik lang tayo sa kung ano tayo pagdating ng certain na panahon. Hindi ko naman siya masisisi. Napakasipag niya at halos hindi na nagpapahinga. Sobrang kuripot kasi at ultimo dalawang piso ay panghihinayangan niyang gastusin kapalit ng pagod na hindi naman justified.
Simula pa ng bata ako ay hindi talaga ako masipag sa bahay. Pero gingawa ko lahat ng trabahong ibinigay sa akin mapa-ano pa man iyon. Panganay kasi ako at natuto akong mang-unawa ng nararamdaman ng iba sa batang edad. May mga bagay nga na ngayon ko lang nasasabi sa kanila tulad ng mga pang-bubully sa akin at mga sakit sa balat noong elementary ako. Ayoko kasing dagdagan ng problema ang nanay ko dahil alam kong hirap siya dati pa. Lalo na ngayon at apat kaming pasan niya.
Tama ang mama. Wala nga akong silbi sa paglalaba at pagluluto. Dalawang bagay na hindi ko talaga ginustong matutunan. Iniisip ko na gagalingan ko sa pag-aaral ko, kahit papaano, para hindi ko na kailangang gawin iyon paglaki ko. Sa kaso ko ngaun, ang panahon ng "paglaki" ay pinapasok ko na, nahuhuli na ako. Marami akong nakikita sa mga napapanuod ko na mga Hollywood films at series na mga taong mahuhusay, di umano, na ok naman sa paglalaba at pagluluto. Kailangan ko ng lulunin ang pride ko at buksan ang tenga sa palaging sinasabi ni Papa na disiplina at ang walang kamatayang time management.
Malaking problema nga lang ay mahilig akong mamroblema ng hindi ko naman dapat problemahin. At isa pang napansin kong pagbabago sa sarili ko ay pagiging walang emosyon ko. Ang pagiging matigas at rasyonal sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako nawawalang ng lambing sa mga kapatid ko pero wala akong maramdmang reaksyon kapag nagagalit ang mga tao sa paligid ko, nagwawala man o nagsisigaw sa sakit. Manhid na ako sa pangyayaring masyadong cliche. Alam ko na ang mangyayari kaya hindi na ako nagugulat.
Bilang taong positive, positiver, nakikita kong ang conflict sa mga ugali namin ngayon sa bahay ay paraan lang ng Dios para maka-iwas kami sa mas malalang damage pagdating ng panahon kung sakaling nagpatuloy kami sa ganito. Sa lagay ni mama, hindi na lang ako magsasalita sa kanya. Bali-baliktarin ko man ang mundo. Sa kanya pa rin ako nanggaling.
Sa totoo lang hindi naman ako seryoso sa mga pag-aaral ko. Kung anong mangyari ay mangyari na lang. Mataas lang ata ang standards ko kaya ang ok na sa akin ay above average na pala kahit papaano. Kaya nga nabubuhay ako sa pag-seset ng goal na lubos at higit sa mga dapat ko lang abutin. Malamang nga ay labas na ako sa mediocrity kung purong acads o buhay lang ang pagbabatayan. Pero nga, wala namang perpekto.
Nitong mga nakaraang araw, panay ang galit at init ng ulo ni mama. Sa totoo lang, namimiss ko na ang pagiging malambing niya noong mga nakaraang taon lalo na pagdating ko ng Korea. Pero siguro nga ay bumabalik lang tayo sa kung ano tayo pagdating ng certain na panahon. Hindi ko naman siya masisisi. Napakasipag niya at halos hindi na nagpapahinga. Sobrang kuripot kasi at ultimo dalawang piso ay panghihinayangan niyang gastusin kapalit ng pagod na hindi naman justified.
Simula pa ng bata ako ay hindi talaga ako masipag sa bahay. Pero gingawa ko lahat ng trabahong ibinigay sa akin mapa-ano pa man iyon. Panganay kasi ako at natuto akong mang-unawa ng nararamdaman ng iba sa batang edad. May mga bagay nga na ngayon ko lang nasasabi sa kanila tulad ng mga pang-bubully sa akin at mga sakit sa balat noong elementary ako. Ayoko kasing dagdagan ng problema ang nanay ko dahil alam kong hirap siya dati pa. Lalo na ngayon at apat kaming pasan niya.
Tama ang mama. Wala nga akong silbi sa paglalaba at pagluluto. Dalawang bagay na hindi ko talaga ginustong matutunan. Iniisip ko na gagalingan ko sa pag-aaral ko, kahit papaano, para hindi ko na kailangang gawin iyon paglaki ko. Sa kaso ko ngaun, ang panahon ng "paglaki" ay pinapasok ko na, nahuhuli na ako. Marami akong nakikita sa mga napapanuod ko na mga Hollywood films at series na mga taong mahuhusay, di umano, na ok naman sa paglalaba at pagluluto. Kailangan ko ng lulunin ang pride ko at buksan ang tenga sa palaging sinasabi ni Papa na disiplina at ang walang kamatayang time management.
Malaking problema nga lang ay mahilig akong mamroblema ng hindi ko naman dapat problemahin. At isa pang napansin kong pagbabago sa sarili ko ay pagiging walang emosyon ko. Ang pagiging matigas at rasyonal sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako nawawalang ng lambing sa mga kapatid ko pero wala akong maramdmang reaksyon kapag nagagalit ang mga tao sa paligid ko, nagwawala man o nagsisigaw sa sakit. Manhid na ako sa pangyayaring masyadong cliche. Alam ko na ang mangyayari kaya hindi na ako nagugulat.
Bilang taong positive, positiver, nakikita kong ang conflict sa mga ugali namin ngayon sa bahay ay paraan lang ng Dios para maka-iwas kami sa mas malalang damage pagdating ng panahon kung sakaling nagpatuloy kami sa ganito. Sa lagay ni mama, hindi na lang ako magsasalita sa kanya. Bali-baliktarin ko man ang mundo. Sa kanya pa rin ako nanggaling.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Essence of Graduation
NOT a good post. Actually, a bad post.
Etymology. I have been amused with words. Those who personally know me would agree if I say that I constantly and annoyingly pun. But this is not about punning, this is about the question of whether Computer Science is a real science (or not, of course). From here on, the notion of true/real science refers to the formal division of knowledge or study. I do know my philosophy, but for now, let's set postmodernism aside.
First we ask the question: "What is science for?". From Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time (no it's not a movie, it's a book), it is for finding one unified theory of everything or at least the universe we're in. Even if this idea, for me, is a bit on the Physics' side, it still displays the essence of true science - to decompose. Science is the understanding of things that exist beyond human comprehension. In science we try to objectify 'events' and formularize theories about them to predict the future or to investigate the past. This is human's attempt to comprehend the 'truths' we we're destined not to innately fathom.
In purest sense, computer science is akin to mathematics by which Einstein dubbed as a "system of thought". Hence, not science.
(to be continued..)
Etymology. I have been amused with words. Those who personally know me would agree if I say that I constantly and annoyingly pun. But this is not about punning, this is about the question of whether Computer Science is a real science (or not, of course). From here on, the notion of true/real science refers to the formal division of knowledge or study. I do know my philosophy, but for now, let's set postmodernism aside.
First we ask the question: "What is science for?". From Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time (no it's not a movie, it's a book), it is for finding one unified theory of everything or at least the universe we're in. Even if this idea, for me, is a bit on the Physics' side, it still displays the essence of true science - to decompose. Science is the understanding of things that exist beyond human comprehension. In science we try to objectify 'events' and formularize theories about them to predict the future or to investigate the past. This is human's attempt to comprehend the 'truths' we we're destined not to innately fathom.
In purest sense, computer science is akin to mathematics by which Einstein dubbed as a "system of thought". Hence, not science.
(to be continued..)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Life is like a Vote
Since I have been writing so much about my annoying patriotic side, I now make kwento so that like I have someone like to like talk to and stuff. Yeah, that's hot. I know, right?
Today is my thesis paper's Chapter 5 deadline entitled Results and Discussions. Haven't done it yet and it's half the day light I've eaten in my bed. I don't know, I am being stubborn and all again. How can I have results if I haven't finished the research yet? It doesn't make any sense. Have you seen the idiocracy now, I mean at both sides? Funny.
I should have finished the research earlier, but hey, we all have our katamaran days. I don't feel like doing it the past weeks (actually the past months). And besides, we basically still have a month to do the bang bang jengalooness. Well, I do understand why Prof. Racquel requires us to do all these nonsense this yet relatively inappropriate time, time. Yup, he doesn't want us to cram. But hey, it's the jerk we're talking about here.
Hennyways, I want to dedicate this part of my post to God. It's really amazing how He aligns events for the betterment of humanity. First, I went to cloud ninenessinessy for overdreaming about me getting the MEXT scholarship then falling back to hell. Showed me, again, not to make plans and live the hell out of it already. Reminds me that God already has a slated plan and what we actually do for praying is that we ask Him of a humble consideration.
I got so frustrated about my career path that I decided to go directly to grad school. The stubborn bitch that I am huh? The plan is, I'll go for fulltime masterals finishing then after 2 years or so then applying for tons of available scholarships. I figured that it isn't bad to have a bunch of MS degrees, it's quite cool nga eh (Conyotics - the study of showing how intellectual one is, amidst the contrasting reality that one is not).
And the big deal began. Fortunately, things have turned out quite well thanks to my uncontrollably chorva (can't find the right words oh Mirriam) tongue, hell yeah! Roderick, Hazel, Marion, Sir Lyme have also expressed their interest in doing their MSs with me! Special thanks goes to Kuya Lymeness, if not for you man, if not for that wonderful night that you have successfully caught the neighbors WLAN internets(z) connection and browsed into UPD-COE's website that I haven't been able to give the idea a shit.
The next event will lead to an unescapable series of unfortunate events that even I, the jerk, wouldn't even give the slightest jerky power to comprendo. Here comes Prof. Mario Carreon form UPD. Here comes me again wanting to apply for a teaching profession at UPD. Here comes another plan. Well, recommendations are so damn good. This is the part of the post where we branch possibilities for fun.
CASE (Natanggap ako): So cool, I go live inside the campus and live a happy life with myself and my beloved Asus F9-J. Fun (Aliw). Teaching whilst doing the MS dance. What more can I ask for? Well probably you will say a good nice girlfriend will do. I say, yes. break;
CASE (Hindi ako natanggap): Titira ako sa Cainta sa tapat ng Sta. Lucia sa likod ng Tropical sa Greenpark Phase 9 kasama ang mga boarders na babaeng matanda dahil doon ang bahay namin at wala akong trabaho at pag-aaralin ako ng erpats ko at magpapakasaya ako ng dalawang taon sa paggawa ng thesis sa bahay na away kong tirhan dahil nasa Tarlac sila hell yeah. break;
Wow! A Taglish post! Kids remember the lessons we have studied ok? See ya.
Exercises:
1. Define Conyotics.
2. Is the author sane?
3. Cute ba ako?
4. Does the author make any sense?
5. Is citing names cool?
6. If you find your names dancing on one of my posts, what will you feel?
Instructions:
Sagutin ang mga tanong sa isang malinis na papel at ilagay sa isang white legal size envelop kalakip ang inyong proof of purchase ng Aling Nesing's Special Chicharon in a Can.
Ipadala sa:
PO BOX 2897.
Today is my thesis paper's Chapter 5 deadline entitled Results and Discussions. Haven't done it yet and it's half the day light I've eaten in my bed. I don't know, I am being stubborn and all again. How can I have results if I haven't finished the research yet? It doesn't make any sense. Have you seen the idiocracy now, I mean at both sides? Funny.
I should have finished the research earlier, but hey, we all have our katamaran days. I don't feel like doing it the past weeks (actually the past months). And besides, we basically still have a month to do the bang bang jengalooness. Well, I do understand why Prof. Racquel requires us to do all these nonsense this yet relatively inappropriate time, time. Yup, he doesn't want us to cram. But hey, it's the jerk we're talking about here.
Hennyways, I want to dedicate this part of my post to God. It's really amazing how He aligns events for the betterment of humanity. First, I went to cloud ninenessinessy for overdreaming about me getting the MEXT scholarship then falling back to hell. Showed me, again, not to make plans and live the hell out of it already. Reminds me that God already has a slated plan and what we actually do for praying is that we ask Him of a humble consideration.
I got so frustrated about my career path that I decided to go directly to grad school. The stubborn bitch that I am huh? The plan is, I'll go for fulltime masterals finishing then after 2 years or so then applying for tons of available scholarships. I figured that it isn't bad to have a bunch of MS degrees, it's quite cool nga eh (Conyotics - the study of showing how intellectual one is, amidst the contrasting reality that one is not).
And the big deal began. Fortunately, things have turned out quite well thanks to my uncontrollably chorva (can't find the right words oh Mirriam) tongue, hell yeah! Roderick, Hazel, Marion, Sir Lyme have also expressed their interest in doing their MSs with me! Special thanks goes to Kuya Lymeness, if not for you man, if not for that wonderful night that you have successfully caught the neighbors WLAN internets(z) connection and browsed into UPD-COE's website that I haven't been able to give the idea a shit.
The next event will lead to an unescapable series of unfortunate events that even I, the jerk, wouldn't even give the slightest jerky power to comprendo. Here comes Prof. Mario Carreon form UPD. Here comes me again wanting to apply for a teaching profession at UPD. Here comes another plan. Well, recommendations are so damn good. This is the part of the post where we branch possibilities for fun.
CASE (Natanggap ako): So cool, I go live inside the campus and live a happy life with myself and my beloved Asus F9-J. Fun (Aliw). Teaching whilst doing the MS dance. What more can I ask for? Well probably you will say a good nice girlfriend will do. I say, yes. break;
CASE (Hindi ako natanggap): Titira ako sa Cainta sa tapat ng Sta. Lucia sa likod ng Tropical sa Greenpark Phase 9 kasama ang mga boarders na babaeng matanda dahil doon ang bahay namin at wala akong trabaho at pag-aaralin ako ng erpats ko at magpapakasaya ako ng dalawang taon sa paggawa ng thesis sa bahay na away kong tirhan dahil nasa Tarlac sila hell yeah. break;
Wow! A Taglish post! Kids remember the lessons we have studied ok? See ya.
Exercises:
1. Define Conyotics.
2. Is the author sane?
3. Cute ba ako?
4. Does the author make any sense?
5. Is citing names cool?
6. If you find your names dancing on one of my posts, what will you feel?
Instructions:
Sagutin ang mga tanong sa isang malinis na papel at ilagay sa isang white legal size envelop kalakip ang inyong proof of purchase ng Aling Nesing's Special Chicharon in a Can.
Ipadala sa:
PO BOX 2897.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Money for a Doc's Thought
The idea comes from Dr. Alipio, my Physics professor.
Power = Work / Time
Since Knowledge is Power and Time is gold we have,
Knowledge = Work / Gold.
Makes sense doesn't it? Kawawa naman ang landas na pinili kong tahakin.
Power = Work / Time
Since Knowledge is Power and Time is gold we have,
Knowledge = Work / Gold.
Makes sense doesn't it? Kawawa naman ang landas na pinili kong tahakin.
I Feel Like Postin'
Yay! It's been a while and I guess I have to write updates abutt mah layf! Enumeration mode!
- Overly hyped about the MEXT scholarship last weekend that I forgot about our third prototype presentation for our Undergrad Thesis! Hell yeah! I ended up using my ingenuity with words again. Though I actually did heck a lot of stuff already, it just resulted to something I do not consider as "flashy". Buti pa sila Joshua at Cheti, malupit kayo mga bros!
- Everything came crashing down. Age limit for the Undergraduate scholarship for Japan, among others, reached. The Research scholarship requires at least 16 academic years. Yup, so M.S. here I come.
- Panganay dilemma. Everything is self-explanatory. Panganay. Aral ng aral. Hindi trabaho. Balik Manila. Gusto nanay Baguio tira. Wawa nanay. Wala pera. Tatlo kapatid boplaks wala pera paaral magulang. UP na naman.
- I am "Mister Plan"! "Oh my God! It's the incredible Mister Plan! What incredible planning without application will he do now?!". "Don't you worry citizen. I have quite enough plans to keep you busy for.. say.. 40 years that you wouldn't have time to reach those dreams! Hey, but don't thank me. Thank the government!". "Thank you government you sure are a friend in debts!"
- This is the fifth entry and nothing more. Except for the inevitable 5.0 that I can super dooper possibly get from not doing my thesis. Very good Wilmarc, so much for South Korea and Dr. Kim huh?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Torrent at Pampagising
Ok! Mabilisang post lang ito dahil inaantok na ako. Para sa mga pirata diyang mahilig mag P2P at mahal na mahal si aXXo, para sa atin ito!
Ito pa pala dahil natuwa lang ako.
Isa pa dahil wala akong magawa.
Ito pa pala dahil natuwa lang ako.
Isa pa dahil wala akong magawa.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Funny Side of Irony
What makes us human? Our cunning ability to make the same mistake over and over again.
Time is gold yet not tangible enough at least for me, if not for all (obviously), to walk onto.
Why do we always long for times long been finished? If not for the memory, for the chip of that treasure we've spent on that shimmering something we mistook for happiness.
Regret makes us weak. Yet we know strength because we've been through the opposite.
And though we strive for success we are driven by the failures we wish we never had.
Time is gold yet not tangible enough at least for me, if not for all (obviously), to walk onto.
Why do we always long for times long been finished? If not for the memory, for the chip of that treasure we've spent on that shimmering something we mistook for happiness.
Regret makes us weak. Yet we know strength because we've been through the opposite.
And though we strive for success we are driven by the failures we wish we never had.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Economia de Filipinas
Economy, as I see, is a manifestation of a state’s primal need to survive. On the other hand, the government is created by those who believe in a unified approach in success. Yet another form of that primordial instinct to survive. Hence, by this basic transitivity, the government and its state’s economy is chained. Chained in the manner that the government, must, swiftly pull it’s economy to a long-term success and stable development. If so, then totalitarian would be the ideal government when economic development is concerned. If we follow such premise we arrive to something realizable given the preceding facts. True, if we’re dealing with a simple world with discrete truths and consequences with one factor as the government. But in reality, the government’s existence is only at its society’s mercy and that the economy is constituted with other factors. In the Philippines’ case its government plays as the guide, ideally, for private economies or individual market players that constitute to the whole of the country’s economy.
Growth and development is for and by the people. Growth in economic terms is the increase in the absolute value of real output measured by national income accounts. In the other hand, economic development is characterized by stable and increasing growth that usually inhibits socio-political changes. Hence, we can say that both ends of the so called development change is by far different in terms of growth, its peoples’ lifestyle and society itself. The question is, how can we develop? By the preceding facts, we can say that development is attained through growth which in part described by macroeconomic processes. Hence, the ’success’ of a state is defined by the state itself, that is, the people, its territory, sovereignty and its government. Here we can at least peek why governments such that of Russia, Romania, Czechoslovakia crumble grotesquely. Maybe, total control over a state in general violates the core foundation of growth and development, the people. Although totalitarianism is for equity, why do states in such governments slowly decapitate over time being left by democratic governments with free markets? By these facts and by trend, I say that free market is a prerequisite in development but not necessarily democracy.
Now that we have established the general role of the government, let us dissect its more specific jobs. Basically, the government’s task complements that of the people and its society’s. The society is self evolving and the government’s job is to stimulate and guide that evolution to development. This is absolutely true in the Philippines case given that we are comprised of a pyramid of groups and individuals constituting our baranggays, barrios, municipalities, labor unions, educational institutions, corporations etc. These entities are the major actors in this drama called economy by the government as the director to reach the end which is progress. The Philippine government’s answer to the problem of economic governance is the National Economic Development Authority (NEDA). NEDA was created for the purpose of having one planning head to assert problems of policy duplication and inconsistencies. But NEDA’s efforts are nothing if the voices of the people that constitutes the society is neglected. Indicative planning comes to action where individual market players including low-end producers discuss and share their idea of what the objectives should be for a strengthened economic future. This French way of development is adopted by our country for the historical lack of communication between the government planners and private entrepreneurs.
Yet, the innate social problem of equality and equity still lingers and plays a heavy burden in economic development. The income difference between the rich and poor is inherently oceans apart and yet to be resolved. Though we may say that the economic growth that the current Philippine regime boasts has increased the average income of its labor force, it still hasn’t changed the skewered statistics of large income standard deviation. In consequence, the poor is denied of a number of goods and services because of their low income. Following such argument, businesses are not able to thrive in places of low income distribution. If one should argue that the poor or at least the lower economic half of the Philippines is unable to climb the ladder is because they choose not to be competitive, he/she is impartially correct. It is true that the most basic rule of survival is to compete but the inevitability of failure is more likely to the poor majority. If to compete is to enter business, where will the poor get their capital? And if capital is not a problem, how about the taxes that larger businesses throw to smaller ones and to the people as a whole? At least we see that taxation which was devised to foster economic equity is doing its job quite well, sarcasm intended. If to compete is to strive for a better job, how can one earn sufficient income if the education that the government offer for free is the lowest in the country? And if to compete is to at least buy the most basic needs, where will they get the money? All of these questions are not answered by the society itself. It is not a part of that self evolving mechanism. It is the job of the government to provide answers to these questions. Even if true answers are not realizable and non-existent, there are always approximations.
By the year 1997, majority of East-Asian countries suffered from what was called the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis. The crisis was marked start when the Thai government floated its currency, bhat, following a burden of foreign debt. Although the presence of such crisis was known and felt by that time, reasons were not clear. But the fact that the Philippines, together with its neighboring countries, suffered a considerable decline in economic growth and national income accounts by 1997, we cannot extract the ‘true’ growth of our country just by comparing it to succeeding and current economic state. In other terms, the contemporary GDP/GNP growth of our country is not out of the ordinary because we are basically reviving, if not just revived, from the crisis. Compared to South Korea that, together with Thailand, suffered greatly from the 1997 crisis has recovered indifferently better than the Philippines. With respect to our society and the national income accounts of 1997 and 2007, our country has grown fairly well. But relative to other economies, we’re doing quite poor. Following these facts, we can say that GNP, GDP, GDP per capita and other income accounts are just really numbers that is freely given meaning depending on the perspective. Hence, these accounts can be used to blind people and to cover faults of crashing economies.
Numerous government policies have already been issued and presented. Most of it, if not all, are authored by well-educated people. Better education, free-enterprise-based stability, agricultural modernization, comprehensive human development and other policies have been laid down since the start of the new century. Still, the question is why can’t we feel the change? What the government fails to see is that our country is different from that of America, Japan or UK. That we have been deeply bruised by humiliation and stripped-off of self-reliance and confidence. How can we compete if we are not competitive in the first place? The government stimulates us by amplifying our dependency on others, pushing us out of the state, disintegrating our hopes to our country. Even if they flood us with macro policies in education, which the youth cries out for quality, if they do not promote nationalism and believe for one’s self, our country will really be just a human factory for developed economies. The government should foster its society’s culture and use it as a tool to communicate with its people. A tool to unite the different ethno-linguistic groups of our nation. The problem why we cannot have a successful nation as a whole is that we do not know what really is our nation. Different culture is not a problem, the problem is that we do not have one concrete unifying entity that believes on our talents and understands our weaknesses. Yes it should be the government, but the government is ever busy to how the Philippines should be seen fine from the outside, disregarding the immense wound in the inside. I am not a social scientist nor an economist to formulate some empirical policy to manifest what I write. What I have here is an abstract idea of what the Philippine government should be realizing that it is not impossible. Self-reliance, confidence and nationalism.
Society, economy and politics is inseparable. They constitute to what we call our nation. The idea of a government, unlike what we usually perceive, is not a static uniform social entity that is patterned exclusively with each other – different states. Hence, we cannot compare two governments by how they resolve one matter but should be compared by the ends. But society should also play its part by fostering its creation, which is the government, in times when it fails to care for the former. Funny, true, because in our country’s case it is more likely that an infinite loop is created. Exactly my point, self-reliance is inevitably the break.
Growth and development is for and by the people. Growth in economic terms is the increase in the absolute value of real output measured by national income accounts. In the other hand, economic development is characterized by stable and increasing growth that usually inhibits socio-political changes. Hence, we can say that both ends of the so called development change is by far different in terms of growth, its peoples’ lifestyle and society itself. The question is, how can we develop? By the preceding facts, we can say that development is attained through growth which in part described by macroeconomic processes. Hence, the ’success’ of a state is defined by the state itself, that is, the people, its territory, sovereignty and its government. Here we can at least peek why governments such that of Russia, Romania, Czechoslovakia crumble grotesquely. Maybe, total control over a state in general violates the core foundation of growth and development, the people. Although totalitarianism is for equity, why do states in such governments slowly decapitate over time being left by democratic governments with free markets? By these facts and by trend, I say that free market is a prerequisite in development but not necessarily democracy.
Now that we have established the general role of the government, let us dissect its more specific jobs. Basically, the government’s task complements that of the people and its society’s. The society is self evolving and the government’s job is to stimulate and guide that evolution to development. This is absolutely true in the Philippines case given that we are comprised of a pyramid of groups and individuals constituting our baranggays, barrios, municipalities, labor unions, educational institutions, corporations etc. These entities are the major actors in this drama called economy by the government as the director to reach the end which is progress. The Philippine government’s answer to the problem of economic governance is the National Economic Development Authority (NEDA). NEDA was created for the purpose of having one planning head to assert problems of policy duplication and inconsistencies. But NEDA’s efforts are nothing if the voices of the people that constitutes the society is neglected. Indicative planning comes to action where individual market players including low-end producers discuss and share their idea of what the objectives should be for a strengthened economic future. This French way of development is adopted by our country for the historical lack of communication between the government planners and private entrepreneurs.
Yet, the innate social problem of equality and equity still lingers and plays a heavy burden in economic development. The income difference between the rich and poor is inherently oceans apart and yet to be resolved. Though we may say that the economic growth that the current Philippine regime boasts has increased the average income of its labor force, it still hasn’t changed the skewered statistics of large income standard deviation. In consequence, the poor is denied of a number of goods and services because of their low income. Following such argument, businesses are not able to thrive in places of low income distribution. If one should argue that the poor or at least the lower economic half of the Philippines is unable to climb the ladder is because they choose not to be competitive, he/she is impartially correct. It is true that the most basic rule of survival is to compete but the inevitability of failure is more likely to the poor majority. If to compete is to enter business, where will the poor get their capital? And if capital is not a problem, how about the taxes that larger businesses throw to smaller ones and to the people as a whole? At least we see that taxation which was devised to foster economic equity is doing its job quite well, sarcasm intended. If to compete is to strive for a better job, how can one earn sufficient income if the education that the government offer for free is the lowest in the country? And if to compete is to at least buy the most basic needs, where will they get the money? All of these questions are not answered by the society itself. It is not a part of that self evolving mechanism. It is the job of the government to provide answers to these questions. Even if true answers are not realizable and non-existent, there are always approximations.
By the year 1997, majority of East-Asian countries suffered from what was called the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis. The crisis was marked start when the Thai government floated its currency, bhat, following a burden of foreign debt. Although the presence of such crisis was known and felt by that time, reasons were not clear. But the fact that the Philippines, together with its neighboring countries, suffered a considerable decline in economic growth and national income accounts by 1997, we cannot extract the ‘true’ growth of our country just by comparing it to succeeding and current economic state. In other terms, the contemporary GDP/GNP growth of our country is not out of the ordinary because we are basically reviving, if not just revived, from the crisis. Compared to South Korea that, together with Thailand, suffered greatly from the 1997 crisis has recovered indifferently better than the Philippines. With respect to our society and the national income accounts of 1997 and 2007, our country has grown fairly well. But relative to other economies, we’re doing quite poor. Following these facts, we can say that GNP, GDP, GDP per capita and other income accounts are just really numbers that is freely given meaning depending on the perspective. Hence, these accounts can be used to blind people and to cover faults of crashing economies.
Numerous government policies have already been issued and presented. Most of it, if not all, are authored by well-educated people. Better education, free-enterprise-based stability, agricultural modernization, comprehensive human development and other policies have been laid down since the start of the new century. Still, the question is why can’t we feel the change? What the government fails to see is that our country is different from that of America, Japan or UK. That we have been deeply bruised by humiliation and stripped-off of self-reliance and confidence. How can we compete if we are not competitive in the first place? The government stimulates us by amplifying our dependency on others, pushing us out of the state, disintegrating our hopes to our country. Even if they flood us with macro policies in education, which the youth cries out for quality, if they do not promote nationalism and believe for one’s self, our country will really be just a human factory for developed economies. The government should foster its society’s culture and use it as a tool to communicate with its people. A tool to unite the different ethno-linguistic groups of our nation. The problem why we cannot have a successful nation as a whole is that we do not know what really is our nation. Different culture is not a problem, the problem is that we do not have one concrete unifying entity that believes on our talents and understands our weaknesses. Yes it should be the government, but the government is ever busy to how the Philippines should be seen fine from the outside, disregarding the immense wound in the inside. I am not a social scientist nor an economist to formulate some empirical policy to manifest what I write. What I have here is an abstract idea of what the Philippine government should be realizing that it is not impossible. Self-reliance, confidence and nationalism.
Society, economy and politics is inseparable. They constitute to what we call our nation. The idea of a government, unlike what we usually perceive, is not a static uniform social entity that is patterned exclusively with each other – different states. Hence, we cannot compare two governments by how they resolve one matter but should be compared by the ends. But society should also play its part by fostering its creation, which is the government, in times when it fails to care for the former. Funny, true, because in our country’s case it is more likely that an infinite loop is created. Exactly my point, self-reliance is inevitably the break.
The Vertigo of Certainty
Chaos and distress leave us with no choice but to think, dream and wonder about certainty and order. It is in these times of clattering questions we mostly dear for enlightenment and the warmth of such trivial intuitions. It is also in these times that we ironically create ideas of boundless measures, for chaos is anything but borders.
For most of us intellectually deprived of the fundamental roots of logic and mathematics, that has been there for ages, we believe that this world is in order or at least be organized when such glorious day comes. I do not know if it is the master plan of somebody all so powerful, like what we want to believe in, or it is just our own hypocritic understanding of such virtues that we fall into chaos.
Paradox as it may seem that order and chaos are related by such subtle boundaries of logic, we still strive for certainty. Hence we fall for the traps of the 20th century's urge for clarity on to the matters clearly logically proven as not. Mathematics has proven that logic and itself are bound by the foundations it created. As much as what Kurt Gödel's and Georg Cantor's experiences screamingly want to tell us that we are mere victims of the very foundations that we are humans, we still long for certainty.
Yet we have intuition. As abstract as the logic that it is not, it is inherently not the certainty that we were looking for. Either it is innately trivial and recursively as it is or we just fall along with the stubbornness the like of Hitler's. We just don't quit. Certainty is nothing but incomplete. But since we still believe that certainty is the asymptote of Moore's Law, it proves our inability to cope with the continuity and infinity of life and creation implied.
Though we know that not all problems are solved by the algorithms of our finite minds, as what Turing popularly synthesized, we still try. Why? Because we want to. We know we can. And though intuition itself is contradictory provable, we still cling to what we call God.
Either intuition created God or God created intuition to fill the gaps of our incomplete logic. Nobody would really know.
Note: I know I used "certainty" way too much. But that is exactly the point.
For most of us intellectually deprived of the fundamental roots of logic and mathematics, that has been there for ages, we believe that this world is in order or at least be organized when such glorious day comes. I do not know if it is the master plan of somebody all so powerful, like what we want to believe in, or it is just our own hypocritic understanding of such virtues that we fall into chaos.
Paradox as it may seem that order and chaos are related by such subtle boundaries of logic, we still strive for certainty. Hence we fall for the traps of the 20th century's urge for clarity on to the matters clearly logically proven as not. Mathematics has proven that logic and itself are bound by the foundations it created. As much as what Kurt Gödel's and Georg Cantor's experiences screamingly want to tell us that we are mere victims of the very foundations that we are humans, we still long for certainty.
Yet we have intuition. As abstract as the logic that it is not, it is inherently not the certainty that we were looking for. Either it is innately trivial and recursively as it is or we just fall along with the stubbornness the like of Hitler's. We just don't quit. Certainty is nothing but incomplete. But since we still believe that certainty is the asymptote of Moore's Law, it proves our inability to cope with the continuity and infinity of life and creation implied.
Though we know that not all problems are solved by the algorithms of our finite minds, as what Turing popularly synthesized, we still try. Why? Because we want to. We know we can. And though intuition itself is contradictory provable, we still cling to what we call God.
Either intuition created God or God created intuition to fill the gaps of our incomplete logic. Nobody would really know.
Note: I know I used "certainty" way too much. But that is exactly the point.
BBC's Dangerous Knowledge
Burned through the Chronograph
Naiinggit ako sa mga batang naglalaro sa kalye. Hinahamon ang mga aso. Nakikipagbunuan sa sasakyan. Nakikipagaway sa patak ng ulan. Sa mga pagkakataong matagal ng naiwan ng panahon sa isip ko, ngayon ay unti-unting bumabalik. Ang mga ngiting nilalabas ng mga labi sa tuwing manonood ng Dragonballs at Eugene. Isama mo na ang mga Paynal Pantasi na tinapos ko sa Playstation na hindi naman sa akin.
Simple lang ang mundo noong late 90's at early 2k, at least para sa akin. Bakit kaya ngayon imbes na ulan ang nilalabanan ko, sarili ko na. Imbes na sasakyan ang katumbang-preso, ibang tao ang katunggali. Lahat tayo gustong maging bata. Lahat tayo gustong bumalik.
Most people would go to their friends for comfort. But I tend to stay here in my room. Contemplating the things that there were and fantasizing the things that might possibly be. As I type, I hear a crow scream in vivid delight. It makes me realize that birds, even one of the most hated ones, survive amidst there lack of faith. What more of us as humans?
Knowledge grows faster than a tree can push itself to survive. Money is spent faster than it is earned. Dreams are created faster then the time we realize that it is not true. Yet we strive for perfection, salvation and eternal peace. Do we not know that these are all but dreams? But that is exactly what makes us strong and weak at the same time, hope. We hope that things will be better the time we stop crying. Love is undying, blind, never-ending and without reasons. Education is the way. Religion is the tier.
Maybe we are right. That every decision we make constitutes to something in the future. That time and everything that fades with it is unrecoverable. That every sliced and diced flesh, every pain we endured, every tears we drank, every people we killed are just mere memories of what we tend to forget. But we then realize that if these things have already faded why do they continue to hunt us down to the very core of our slumbers? Why do they return to us as screams of degraded hope that we wish we hadn't dreamed of as much as the thoughts of mortified things we should have done?
I have never been good with words. And definitely no better with actions. How I wish that time and space are not what Einstein thought they were.
Sometimes we laugh on the deepest and most lonely times of our lives. And those times are the best among the worsts. Each faint smile gives us strength. For each smirk that we taste our own tears, we become invincible for a fraction of the second we are weak.
Simple lang ang mundo noong late 90's at early 2k, at least para sa akin. Bakit kaya ngayon imbes na ulan ang nilalabanan ko, sarili ko na. Imbes na sasakyan ang katumbang-preso, ibang tao ang katunggali. Lahat tayo gustong maging bata. Lahat tayo gustong bumalik.
Most people would go to their friends for comfort. But I tend to stay here in my room. Contemplating the things that there were and fantasizing the things that might possibly be. As I type, I hear a crow scream in vivid delight. It makes me realize that birds, even one of the most hated ones, survive amidst there lack of faith. What more of us as humans?
Knowledge grows faster than a tree can push itself to survive. Money is spent faster than it is earned. Dreams are created faster then the time we realize that it is not true. Yet we strive for perfection, salvation and eternal peace. Do we not know that these are all but dreams? But that is exactly what makes us strong and weak at the same time, hope. We hope that things will be better the time we stop crying. Love is undying, blind, never-ending and without reasons. Education is the way. Religion is the tier.
Maybe we are right. That every decision we make constitutes to something in the future. That time and everything that fades with it is unrecoverable. That every sliced and diced flesh, every pain we endured, every tears we drank, every people we killed are just mere memories of what we tend to forget. But we then realize that if these things have already faded why do they continue to hunt us down to the very core of our slumbers? Why do they return to us as screams of degraded hope that we wish we hadn't dreamed of as much as the thoughts of mortified things we should have done?
I have never been good with words. And definitely no better with actions. How I wish that time and space are not what Einstein thought they were.
Sometimes we laugh on the deepest and most lonely times of our lives. And those times are the best among the worsts. Each faint smile gives us strength. For each smirk that we taste our own tears, we become invincible for a fraction of the second we are weak.
i lurvesz NSO
to make the story short, ayaw kong magcurse pero tae napapamura ako sa gobyernong ito!
graduating ako at kailangan kong ayusin ung birth certificate ko na walang nakalagay na male ako. hahaha funny huh you bastard you! unless lalabas sa diploma ko na sex or gender unknown
pumunta pa nanay ko sa sen fernando, pampanga which is so freaking far away from paniqui, tarlac dahil nanakawan ang branch ng NSO sa tarlac
pagkatapos ng buong araw na pagbubuno ng nanay ko sa pila ay tae dahil wala paring nagbago sa sex ko kahit na 2 years ko nang inayos iyon bago ako lumipad! anak ng tokwa!
napakiusapan na gumawa ng sulat ang regional office sa ilocos noon para maayos iyong passport ko at ifoforward nalang daw or something sa Manila para maformalize way back early 2007!
ngayon ung birth certificate ko na hindi kinain ng tanghalian ng nanay ko ay ganoon paren 21 years AGO HOLY ..!
at isa pa ay iyonh kapatid kong 4 years old na wala pang Birth Certificate dahil hindi pa finorward ng local government dito sa paniqui!
note na inayos na namin ito matagal ng panahon dahil may kapaidad naman kaming mag-isip.
sa taas ng tax na binabayaran ng mga mamamayan naman! hindi man lang maaiayos ultimo website! hindi ka man lang makapagreklamo ng maayos!
ang mahirap pa ay kapag nagaayos ka ng mga papel ay kailangang laging may "put". nakakainis! hindi ba sila puinapasweldo at kailangang magabot palagi ng pera para maging maayos ung serbisyo nila?!
sawa na ako sa karereklamo, at kahit anong sigaw mo bingi naman ang lahat. walang kwenta ang pagbaabgo kung hindi itutulak ng lahat.
kung gusto natin ng pagbabago dapat talaga magsimula sa sarili, dahil may sarili din naman ang mga nasa taas.. mga nagkukunwang may pakialam.. nagkukunwang matatalino!
graduating ako at kailangan kong ayusin ung birth certificate ko na walang nakalagay na male ako. hahaha funny huh you bastard you! unless lalabas sa diploma ko na sex or gender unknown
pumunta pa nanay ko sa sen fernando, pampanga which is so freaking far away from paniqui, tarlac dahil nanakawan ang branch ng NSO sa tarlac
pagkatapos ng buong araw na pagbubuno ng nanay ko sa pila ay tae dahil wala paring nagbago sa sex ko kahit na 2 years ko nang inayos iyon bago ako lumipad! anak ng tokwa!
napakiusapan na gumawa ng sulat ang regional office sa ilocos noon para maayos iyong passport ko at ifoforward nalang daw or something sa Manila para maformalize way back early 2007!
ngayon ung birth certificate ko na hindi kinain ng tanghalian ng nanay ko ay ganoon paren 21 years AGO HOLY ..!
at isa pa ay iyonh kapatid kong 4 years old na wala pang Birth Certificate dahil hindi pa finorward ng local government dito sa paniqui!
note na inayos na namin ito matagal ng panahon dahil may kapaidad naman kaming mag-isip.
sa taas ng tax na binabayaran ng mga mamamayan naman! hindi man lang maaiayos ultimo website! hindi ka man lang makapagreklamo ng maayos!
ang mahirap pa ay kapag nagaayos ka ng mga papel ay kailangang laging may "put". nakakainis! hindi ba sila puinapasweldo at kailangang magabot palagi ng pera para maging maayos ung serbisyo nila?!
sawa na ako sa karereklamo, at kahit anong sigaw mo bingi naman ang lahat. walang kwenta ang pagbaabgo kung hindi itutulak ng lahat.
kung gusto natin ng pagbabago dapat talaga magsimula sa sarili, dahil may sarili din naman ang mga nasa taas.. mga nagkukunwang may pakialam.. nagkukunwang matatalino!
sa bagong taon
putok putok! sigawan at talunan. halakhakan at batian. kasiyahan at kabaliwan. samantalang ang ilan sa atin na katulad ko ay piniling matulog nang maaga.
hindi ko kasi nararamdaman ang pagiging bago ng taon o ang pagiging manigo nito. siguro sa isa o tatlo o limang aspeto na buhay pa ako, may lakas at ganoon din ang aking pamilya at salamt sa Dios sa lahat.
para sa akin, may nagrunong-runungang tao lang dati na nagsabi na bagong taon ang panahon na ganito pagkatapos ng 300+ days. at ayaw ko ng inuutusan ako.
hindi iba ang december 31 2008 sa january 1 2009. parang katulad ng september 26 at september 27 na bisperas ng birthday ko at bday ko respectively.
hindi ako mas maayos na tao ngaun kesa kahapon. siguro konti pero hindi uber. kagaya ng hindi naman ginaganap ang reunion pagkatapos mismo ng graduation.
hindi naman ako kj at umaayon din ako sa normal dahil hindi ako autistic. kailangan lang talaga ng tao ng isang pagkakataon sa bawat taon na ipaalala sa kanya kung gaano kahalaga ang isang abstract na konsepto. kung gaano kahalaga ang pamilya, buhay, pag-ibig, pera o kahit ang katiting na panahong nginiti sa 365 na unos. at wan port.
masaya ang ginugunita ang ginawa mo noong mismong isang taon ang lumipas. pero ginagawa ko iyon palagi dahil palagi akong nagpapasalmat sa kung ano ako. at malalman ko lang kung ano ako ngayon sa pagkukumpara sa kung ano ako noong isang taon.
mas mahalaga na rin siguro sa akin ang tulog kaysa sa pagtalon mindlessly. malamang gumagawa lang din ako ng dahilan na maging emo.
may sayawan pa sa plazang malapit sa amin noong january 1 ng gabi at buti ay maayos ang tulod ko bago iyon. wala na namang maproject ang mga local govt officials at nagpapasayaw nalang sila. instant pogi points iyon parang pagpapatayo ng basketbol court para sa mga cool na tao.
bakit kaya bulag sila sa mga sirang aspalto at misplaced na mga bgay sa kalsada. ang bagal ng development pero ok lang iyon dahil magaling magpaparty si kapitan at si mayor. wtf.
ganito parin taung mga pinoy, umaasa sa ibang tao. gustong may bumebeybi. hindi naman natin tayo masisisi dahil pagkatpos ng 300000 yrs ng espanyol (popularly known as kastila) eh sabay naman ang amerikano hanggang ngayon. kapit pa rin sa matatag. walang sariling paninindigan at ang nakakalungkot ok lang iyon. dahil ang may ibang paniniwala at iba ay loser at bading at hindi nakakakuha ng hot na babae.
kahit anong galing mag-segregeyt ng basura ni mama, ganoon naman ako ka hindi kaya babaguhin ko. kailan kaya natin makikita ang kahalgahan ng mga bgay na labas sa bilog na pamilya natin?
mayayabang ang lahat ng tao at mahilig manghusga sa inisyal na nakikita at aminado akong hindi ako banal o perpekto man. pero mas maganda siguro kung titigilan nating ikumpara ang sarili nating standard sa pagsukat ng tao. sino ba tayo para gumawa ng universal na rule sa pagiging tao? IEEE?
bihira rin ang pinoy na mahilig magbasa, statistically. wala akong sources at wag nio akong apuyin nang uncited information and generalization blaberi shit dahil gusto kong sabihing ganoon. mahilig lang taong gumawa at magbasa ng survey para bawasan ung buhay nating walang silbi
marami rin ang iniisip na importante sila at ganoon nalang sila magpaimportante lol. aminin natin na saka lang importante kung:
1. mayaman ka
2. may artistahin kang gf
3. hindi ka emo, kasi that's absolutely defeating the purpose
4. politiko ka down to being a kagawad
5. capable kang gumawa ng project without any sort of help from groupmates. benta ka grabe!
6. subrang gwapo o ganda mo na puede na kitang patayin sa insecurity at kawalan ng pag-asa sa buhay
7. mahilig kang magpautang AT mangutang
8. mahilig kang mag-blog sa bulletin board dahil mas mataas ang chance na basahin ng iba ang kayabangan mo by a slight fraction compared sa fs blog na hitiki sa features at napakabilis
hindi ko kasi nararamdaman ang pagiging bago ng taon o ang pagiging manigo nito. siguro sa isa o tatlo o limang aspeto na buhay pa ako, may lakas at ganoon din ang aking pamilya at salamt sa Dios sa lahat.
para sa akin, may nagrunong-runungang tao lang dati na nagsabi na bagong taon ang panahon na ganito pagkatapos ng 300+ days. at ayaw ko ng inuutusan ako.
hindi iba ang december 31 2008 sa january 1 2009. parang katulad ng september 26 at september 27 na bisperas ng birthday ko at bday ko respectively.
hindi ako mas maayos na tao ngaun kesa kahapon. siguro konti pero hindi uber. kagaya ng hindi naman ginaganap ang reunion pagkatapos mismo ng graduation.
hindi naman ako kj at umaayon din ako sa normal dahil hindi ako autistic. kailangan lang talaga ng tao ng isang pagkakataon sa bawat taon na ipaalala sa kanya kung gaano kahalaga ang isang abstract na konsepto. kung gaano kahalaga ang pamilya, buhay, pag-ibig, pera o kahit ang katiting na panahong nginiti sa 365 na unos. at wan port.
masaya ang ginugunita ang ginawa mo noong mismong isang taon ang lumipas. pero ginagawa ko iyon palagi dahil palagi akong nagpapasalmat sa kung ano ako. at malalman ko lang kung ano ako ngayon sa pagkukumpara sa kung ano ako noong isang taon.
mas mahalaga na rin siguro sa akin ang tulog kaysa sa pagtalon mindlessly. malamang gumagawa lang din ako ng dahilan na maging emo.
may sayawan pa sa plazang malapit sa amin noong january 1 ng gabi at buti ay maayos ang tulod ko bago iyon. wala na namang maproject ang mga local govt officials at nagpapasayaw nalang sila. instant pogi points iyon parang pagpapatayo ng basketbol court para sa mga cool na tao.
bakit kaya bulag sila sa mga sirang aspalto at misplaced na mga bgay sa kalsada. ang bagal ng development pero ok lang iyon dahil magaling magpaparty si kapitan at si mayor. wtf.
ganito parin taung mga pinoy, umaasa sa ibang tao. gustong may bumebeybi. hindi naman natin tayo masisisi dahil pagkatpos ng 300000 yrs ng espanyol (popularly known as kastila) eh sabay naman ang amerikano hanggang ngayon. kapit pa rin sa matatag. walang sariling paninindigan at ang nakakalungkot ok lang iyon. dahil ang may ibang paniniwala at iba ay loser at bading at hindi nakakakuha ng hot na babae.
kahit anong galing mag-segregeyt ng basura ni mama, ganoon naman ako ka hindi kaya babaguhin ko. kailan kaya natin makikita ang kahalgahan ng mga bgay na labas sa bilog na pamilya natin?
mayayabang ang lahat ng tao at mahilig manghusga sa inisyal na nakikita at aminado akong hindi ako banal o perpekto man. pero mas maganda siguro kung titigilan nating ikumpara ang sarili nating standard sa pagsukat ng tao. sino ba tayo para gumawa ng universal na rule sa pagiging tao? IEEE?
bihira rin ang pinoy na mahilig magbasa, statistically. wala akong sources at wag nio akong apuyin nang uncited information and generalization blaberi shit dahil gusto kong sabihing ganoon. mahilig lang taong gumawa at magbasa ng survey para bawasan ung buhay nating walang silbi
marami rin ang iniisip na importante sila at ganoon nalang sila magpaimportante lol. aminin natin na saka lang importante kung:
1. mayaman ka
2. may artistahin kang gf
3. hindi ka emo, kasi that's absolutely defeating the purpose
4. politiko ka down to being a kagawad
5. capable kang gumawa ng project without any sort of help from groupmates. benta ka grabe!
6. subrang gwapo o ganda mo na puede na kitang patayin sa insecurity at kawalan ng pag-asa sa buhay
7. mahilig kang magpautang AT mangutang
8. mahilig kang mag-blog sa bulletin board dahil mas mataas ang chance na basahin ng iba ang kayabangan mo by a slight fraction compared sa fs blog na hitiki sa features at napakabilis
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